Everyone need best friends inside their whole gorgeous EPIC life.We have Carrie,Samantha,Charlotte&Miranda, not forget to mentioned, we also have Regina,Gretchen,Cady & Karen.These are the friendship movie characters that we always admire. Everything that they did we follow.We need friends to share everything about our sex life!our love story!our career problem and apparently our FAMILY PROBLEMS.Friend is the person that you can talk with without BOUNDARIES!We talk,we cry,we hug each other and sometimes we STABBED on each other back!Well darling that is the latest definition of TRUE FRIENDSHIP in the year 2012. After a million years of my observations about friendship according to FRIENDS that I've known, i come to conclusion INSIDE MY MIND that,i can categorize into 3 bitches categories for FRIENDSHIP DEFINITION 2012.
1) Bitches who INBOX YOUR BOYFRIEND in facebook
She saw me and my boyfriend "IN A RELATIONSHIP" inside my facebook and now she all in his inbox. Well this thing is a common thing that apparently happened like Jenny Boutique every week 20% sale. It is normal for another BITCHES to inbox your boyfriend in facebook. Do you really think, your boyfriend will only inbox with you and his GUY friends? If you think so, most probably something wrong with your head. Now, bitches are very good in creating the SNATCH GAME. Slowly she will inbox your boyfriend almost about EVERYTHING. Well ladies! I know this game, I CREATED THIS GAME. I was the bitch before and most probably I STILL THE BITCH that always put the pain in the ass inside you. Well let say, i will list down ALL THE THINGS that BITCHES will inbox to your boyfriend. This list are PARTICULARLY in ORDER. So, there is no skipping step for this BITCH QUESTION INBOX GAME.
*assume,Apple is the girlfriend*
1st question : Hye, how is Apple?Long time didnt meet her!i miss her a lot!
Facts : MISS HER FACE! Bitches sometimes can be very smart but yet can be VERY STUPID NEVER FINISH too. Why on earth she asked about you through your boyfriend but not through your FACEBOOK INBOX? why your INBOX FACEBOOK cannot access that BITCH facebook account is it?
2nd question : Wow!I can;t believe you and Apple are STILL TOGETHER!both of you are meant to be together!When both of you will settle down?
Facts : Settle down your HEAD BITCH! she is playing the GUILTY PLEASURE GAME with your BOO! *if your BOO is a dickhead, he will reply something like this "Everything was ok,but lately me and Apple having this small conflict.Its a normal thing inside our relationship"
*if your BOO is a heaVenlyHusBand to be,he will reply NOTHING for that stupid BITCH question! Kepo kan this bitch! EE!GOT OUTSIDE THERE! trust me! GOT! Beware ladies! Plus, It takes two person to tango right?the same thing with cheating, A BITCH need a DICKHEAD to play the Rihanna song!
3rd Question : Apple are very busy lately, i dont know who to meet up for a coffee and share my problems. I feel so sad and depress!
Facts : Depress YOUR HEAD bitch!you just need his ARM TO LEAN ON then go straight to the bed then HE WILL FINALLY FORGET about Apple right? see! Girls! if you think other GIRLS wont do something like this, TRUST ME its 2012! not 1993 anymore GIRLS!! wake up!! If true this bitch is your true girlfriends,she wont go and make that puppy messages to your boyfriend slash hubby slash your dream man! she will straight go to you or go to another of her girlfriends! come on! Even Ellen Degeneras go to Oprah if is she got problems!
4th Question : NO MORE 4TH QUESTION COZ ALL THE 3 QUESTIONS ALREADY MISSION ACCOMPLISH!
Ladies,beware of this kind of species bitch. Looks like cannot harm you but she can kill you deeply like COBRA POISON! trust me girl! If your boyfriend get a lot of female attention and it is difficult for you to accept it, you should confess him and question him again. Plus, this is where trust comes into the EPIC SCENE. If you can't trust him, then think twice my dear or go and scroll back my articles and read it again and again.Girls will be girls, they usually don't care if there another girl involved in a guys life or not.We only care about shoes and lipsticks! FULL STOP!
2) Bitches who will be best friend with friend who ONLY HAVE CAR
Bitches like this sicken me to HELL! even hell wont accept the facts how much i hate people who be friend with you just because you can DRIVE AND HAVE CAR. Go and get your own LICENSE AND CAR! start collect your own MONEY! There are lots of things that can ensure you to transform that FRIENDS to BESTFRIENDS. The convert thing is not like money whereby you can go to Yahya & Sons Sarawak Plaza Money CHanger and change your money to another currency. No! It won't works like that. But what to do,Bitches will do anything as long as she satisfied with whatever her EVIL side tell her.This thing usually will happen at workplace or even among the circle friends of yours. Confirm got One BITCH like this. I can guarantee you confirm got!She will be with you and close with you whenever you have your CAR with you only! Try this few things that i list down.
Try to lie just for the sake of this experiment. Let see, how does it work between you and your girlfriend which if the experiment is positive,you can call her YOUR BITCH, but if the experiment is negative you can ME APPLE BITCH SAY SOMETHING WITHOUT THINKING!PERASAN MAMPUS! you got green card from me IF THE EXPERIMENT IS NEGATIVE. Let us start NOW!
*Assume that bitch name is Apple*
1) Try to lie to her and tell her like this : Apple,tonight can you drive?
if Apple answered something like this ;
A The first situation)
Good friend :Apple,i don;t feel like i want to drive. Can you drive tonight and we go for outing?
Apple Bitch : Its ok tonight we stay at home and just rest ok?I don't feel like want to go outing tonight.
Facts : She wont stay at home that night OBVIOUSLY! She will go and text her other friends to pick her up and go outing somewhere without inform you that she is outing. And once her other friends who have car pick her up, THEN THE BITCH EPIC SCENE START. Inside the car, she will talk TRASH about you infront of her NEW CAR BUDDY GIRL BESTFRIEND! This kind of bitch you should pick her up infront of her house,BUT once she put her right leg inside your car, you speed till she fell down and that's the time for you to get rid of her! How we wish kan?Unless Malaysia dont have law,you are allow to do so. But what should you do in reality if this happened to you?
Try not to avoid her. Let her avoid you because this type of species, when she get bored of you she will go and haunt for another new buddy! And they, from the BESTFRIENDFOREVER *siap cium pipi lagi* convert into PEREMPUANHANJING/ BITCHESWHOREWHOSLEEPAROUND! Then you evaluate your friends, who's in who's out,ok ladies? SMILE :)
B The second situation)
Good Friend : My car is "sick" will be with "doctor" for one month! *do your puppy face*
Apple Bitch : No worries BABE! this month,we use my car.Afterall,long time didn't drive in Kuching.
Then you text her another night
Good Friend : "Babe,its ladies night!Let us hit the club"
Apple Bitch : No i cant, my dad is around.He wont let me drive at night
Good Friend : its ok then, some other night then! :)
Then you text her again 3 days after the ladies night tinggy thing
Good Friend : Apple,i need your help, can you please send me to Green Height Mall to pick up my new Sereni&Shentel
Apple Bitch : *ROLL EYES" just put the phone aside and no reply.
This thing really happened to a friend of mine. Pity my friend and that PRETTY LITTLE BITCH now still contact with my friends because no one want to be with her anymore after everyone know how she be BEST FRIENDS FOREVER siap cium mulut pipi with another friends. In your face bitch.
If you are the kind of friend that will forgive this kind of species, its ok, it will give positive karma to you. But remember,you have to be extra beware with her because she might do the same thing again. Remember, never trust your friends than you trust your own instinct.
3)Bitches who love to borrow your stuff and keep it VIVA FOREVER inside their PLAYLIST
Borrowing is one thing! But always borrow your thing and never give back is a HUGE EPIC BITCH PRIMETIME. This is what i call, VIVA FOREVER AND HASTA LA VISTA babeh to your precious stuff. Bitches who borrow your stuff will EXTREMELY USE THIS DIALOG to make you feel very soft and kindly nice for you to borrow her your thing WALAUPUN the previous thing she borrowed, she havent return back AGAIN!. Here, few lists the huge EPIC SCRIPTED REALITY TV DIALOG that your BITCHES will say to you if she want to borrow your stuff.
1) I'm NOT RICH and don't have money like you.
Facts : SO DONT GO AND STYLE UP URSELF! you should know where you stand and what you should be. Try to be as low profile as possible. Why on earth you want to keep on borrowing something else from someone else just for you to LOOK GOOD! ok! you borrow ONE TIME,can consider as GREEN CARD still with smile, second time? Still can smile! Third time? REALLY? and yet you can reload your smartphone EVERY DAY, but you never think of want to collect your own money to buy your own thing is it? OH! STANDING O from me then! Remember, if your friends got LOTS of pretty and gorgeous stuff, its either they collect their own money OR it is their parents money. Well, if your parents cant afford it, TRY TO COLLECT YOUR OWN MONEY THEN! Change bitch! Don't be BITCH FOREVER! drink Herbalife to remove all that dirty toxic inside you.YET STILL ONCE ALREADY BORROW DON'T KNOW TO RETURN BACK. ish ish ish!
2) Its hard to get my size here in Kuching, You the only who have my size! OR its not easy to find that,only you have it!
Facts : You just lazy enough for not searching the thing that you want so badly! In 2012, you can do lots of things if you BADLY want to buy that stuff. You can go ONLINE shopping.Or you just being very YOURSELF that JUST LOVE to borrow something from someone. Its not healthy, people will label you and talk about. Plus its even embarrassing if people found out that you are wearing something that is belong to someone.
How to ask back the stuff that you had borrowed than NEVER RETURN BACK FROM OTHER BITCH without she SNAP back at you? *i got few tips* Try this! Let me know if it works.
*assume that bitch name is Apple
1) You call that bitch and say something like this, " You know Apple, got someone inside my office always borrow pen from me but never return back!seriously i feel so depress and stress coz i keep on buying new pens and she keep on borrow pen from me whenever i buy new pen. Now i feel like i miss you so much and luckily YOU NEVER BORROW THING FROM ME AND IF YOU BORROW CONFIRM RETURN BACK WITH ME, Oh how i wish you work with me *add with your fake tears voice* "
Facts : This is what i call, THE REVISED PSYCHO GAME! I created this game! it works for me, you can try! But you have to be very clever to pull this game.
2)You can call that bitch and bring her out for dinner and start your conversation like this, "Apple,actually tonight i feel like so not CONFIDENT without my 5 inch YELLOW high heels, i dont know where i put it!I missed place i guess!I just love that heel so much, my dad bought that heel for my auntie before she passed away and my auntie gave it to me for me to take care of it. That heel got sentimental value!!"
Facts : Play the GUILTY GAME! i created this game too! PUT AS MUCH FAKE/TRAGIC/SAD STORIES INSIDE YOUR CONVERSATION SO THAT SHE FEEL GUILTY.
Well,Bitches are negative species that make you feel unhappy, unhealthy and unequal.Bitches will stress you out, use you and wear you down physically and mentally. Many of us keep bitches in our lives for whatever reasons. We both like and dislike our bitches friends. Well still we need those bitches inside our life because we need to talk trash thing about her whenever we hangout with our another friends. That is how the bitch thing works. The bitch will tell another bitch stories. Well said.
Inside my mind,
Apple Nicol Luna
1) Bitches who INBOX YOUR BOYFRIEND in facebook
She saw me and my boyfriend "IN A RELATIONSHIP" inside my facebook and now she all in his inbox. Well this thing is a common thing that apparently happened like Jenny Boutique every week 20% sale. It is normal for another BITCHES to inbox your boyfriend in facebook. Do you really think, your boyfriend will only inbox with you and his GUY friends? If you think so, most probably something wrong with your head. Now, bitches are very good in creating the SNATCH GAME. Slowly she will inbox your boyfriend almost about EVERYTHING. Well ladies! I know this game, I CREATED THIS GAME. I was the bitch before and most probably I STILL THE BITCH that always put the pain in the ass inside you. Well let say, i will list down ALL THE THINGS that BITCHES will inbox to your boyfriend. This list are PARTICULARLY in ORDER. So, there is no skipping step for this BITCH QUESTION INBOX GAME.
*assume,Apple is the girlfriend*
1st question : Hye, how is Apple?Long time didnt meet her!i miss her a lot!
Facts : MISS HER FACE! Bitches sometimes can be very smart but yet can be VERY STUPID NEVER FINISH too. Why on earth she asked about you through your boyfriend but not through your FACEBOOK INBOX? why your INBOX FACEBOOK cannot access that BITCH facebook account is it?
2nd question : Wow!I can;t believe you and Apple are STILL TOGETHER!both of you are meant to be together!When both of you will settle down?
Facts : Settle down your HEAD BITCH! she is playing the GUILTY PLEASURE GAME with your BOO! *if your BOO is a dickhead, he will reply something like this "Everything was ok,but lately me and Apple having this small conflict.Its a normal thing inside our relationship"
*if your BOO is a heaVenlyHusBand to be,he will reply NOTHING for that stupid BITCH question! Kepo kan this bitch! EE!GOT OUTSIDE THERE! trust me! GOT! Beware ladies! Plus, It takes two person to tango right?the same thing with cheating, A BITCH need a DICKHEAD to play the Rihanna song!
3rd Question : Apple are very busy lately, i dont know who to meet up for a coffee and share my problems. I feel so sad and depress!
Facts : Depress YOUR HEAD bitch!you just need his ARM TO LEAN ON then go straight to the bed then HE WILL FINALLY FORGET about Apple right? see! Girls! if you think other GIRLS wont do something like this, TRUST ME its 2012! not 1993 anymore GIRLS!! wake up!! If true this bitch is your true girlfriends,she wont go and make that puppy messages to your boyfriend slash hubby slash your dream man! she will straight go to you or go to another of her girlfriends! come on! Even Ellen Degeneras go to Oprah if is she got problems!
4th Question : NO MORE 4TH QUESTION COZ ALL THE 3 QUESTIONS ALREADY MISSION ACCOMPLISH!
Ladies,beware of this kind of species bitch. Looks like cannot harm you but she can kill you deeply like COBRA POISON! trust me girl! If your boyfriend get a lot of female attention and it is difficult for you to accept it, you should confess him and question him again. Plus, this is where trust comes into the EPIC SCENE. If you can't trust him, then think twice my dear or go and scroll back my articles and read it again and again.Girls will be girls, they usually don't care if there another girl involved in a guys life or not.We only care about shoes and lipsticks! FULL STOP!
2) Bitches who will be best friend with friend who ONLY HAVE CAR
Bitches like this sicken me to HELL! even hell wont accept the facts how much i hate people who be friend with you just because you can DRIVE AND HAVE CAR. Go and get your own LICENSE AND CAR! start collect your own MONEY! There are lots of things that can ensure you to transform that FRIENDS to BESTFRIENDS. The convert thing is not like money whereby you can go to Yahya & Sons Sarawak Plaza Money CHanger and change your money to another currency. No! It won't works like that. But what to do,Bitches will do anything as long as she satisfied with whatever her EVIL side tell her.This thing usually will happen at workplace or even among the circle friends of yours. Confirm got One BITCH like this. I can guarantee you confirm got!She will be with you and close with you whenever you have your CAR with you only! Try this few things that i list down.
Try to lie just for the sake of this experiment. Let see, how does it work between you and your girlfriend which if the experiment is positive,you can call her YOUR BITCH, but if the experiment is negative you can ME APPLE BITCH SAY SOMETHING WITHOUT THINKING!PERASAN MAMPUS! you got green card from me IF THE EXPERIMENT IS NEGATIVE. Let us start NOW!
*Assume that bitch name is Apple*
1) Try to lie to her and tell her like this : Apple,tonight can you drive?
if Apple answered something like this ;
A The first situation)
Good friend :Apple,i don;t feel like i want to drive. Can you drive tonight and we go for outing?
Apple Bitch : Its ok tonight we stay at home and just rest ok?I don't feel like want to go outing tonight.
Facts : She wont stay at home that night OBVIOUSLY! She will go and text her other friends to pick her up and go outing somewhere without inform you that she is outing. And once her other friends who have car pick her up, THEN THE BITCH EPIC SCENE START. Inside the car, she will talk TRASH about you infront of her NEW CAR BUDDY GIRL BESTFRIEND! This kind of bitch you should pick her up infront of her house,BUT once she put her right leg inside your car, you speed till she fell down and that's the time for you to get rid of her! How we wish kan?Unless Malaysia dont have law,you are allow to do so. But what should you do in reality if this happened to you?
Try not to avoid her. Let her avoid you because this type of species, when she get bored of you she will go and haunt for another new buddy! And they, from the BESTFRIENDFOREVER *siap cium pipi lagi* convert into PEREMPUANHANJING/ BITCHESWHOREWHOSLEEPAROUND! Then you evaluate your friends, who's in who's out,ok ladies? SMILE :)
B The second situation)
Good Friend : My car is "sick" will be with "doctor" for one month! *do your puppy face*
Apple Bitch : No worries BABE! this month,we use my car.Afterall,long time didn't drive in Kuching.
Then you text her another night
Good Friend : "Babe,its ladies night!Let us hit the club"
Apple Bitch : No i cant, my dad is around.He wont let me drive at night
Good Friend : its ok then, some other night then! :)
Then you text her again 3 days after the ladies night tinggy thing
Good Friend : Apple,i need your help, can you please send me to Green Height Mall to pick up my new Sereni&Shentel
Apple Bitch : *ROLL EYES" just put the phone aside and no reply.
This thing really happened to a friend of mine. Pity my friend and that PRETTY LITTLE BITCH now still contact with my friends because no one want to be with her anymore after everyone know how she be BEST FRIENDS FOREVER siap cium mulut pipi with another friends. In your face bitch.
If you are the kind of friend that will forgive this kind of species, its ok, it will give positive karma to you. But remember,you have to be extra beware with her because she might do the same thing again. Remember, never trust your friends than you trust your own instinct.
3)Bitches who love to borrow your stuff and keep it VIVA FOREVER inside their PLAYLIST
Borrowing is one thing! But always borrow your thing and never give back is a HUGE EPIC BITCH PRIMETIME. This is what i call, VIVA FOREVER AND HASTA LA VISTA babeh to your precious stuff. Bitches who borrow your stuff will EXTREMELY USE THIS DIALOG to make you feel very soft and kindly nice for you to borrow her your thing WALAUPUN the previous thing she borrowed, she havent return back AGAIN!. Here, few lists the huge EPIC SCRIPTED REALITY TV DIALOG that your BITCHES will say to you if she want to borrow your stuff.
1) I'm NOT RICH and don't have money like you.
Facts : SO DONT GO AND STYLE UP URSELF! you should know where you stand and what you should be. Try to be as low profile as possible. Why on earth you want to keep on borrowing something else from someone else just for you to LOOK GOOD! ok! you borrow ONE TIME,can consider as GREEN CARD still with smile, second time? Still can smile! Third time? REALLY? and yet you can reload your smartphone EVERY DAY, but you never think of want to collect your own money to buy your own thing is it? OH! STANDING O from me then! Remember, if your friends got LOTS of pretty and gorgeous stuff, its either they collect their own money OR it is their parents money. Well, if your parents cant afford it, TRY TO COLLECT YOUR OWN MONEY THEN! Change bitch! Don't be BITCH FOREVER! drink Herbalife to remove all that dirty toxic inside you.YET STILL ONCE ALREADY BORROW DON'T KNOW TO RETURN BACK. ish ish ish!
2) Its hard to get my size here in Kuching, You the only who have my size! OR its not easy to find that,only you have it!
Facts : You just lazy enough for not searching the thing that you want so badly! In 2012, you can do lots of things if you BADLY want to buy that stuff. You can go ONLINE shopping.Or you just being very YOURSELF that JUST LOVE to borrow something from someone. Its not healthy, people will label you and talk about. Plus its even embarrassing if people found out that you are wearing something that is belong to someone.
How to ask back the stuff that you had borrowed than NEVER RETURN BACK FROM OTHER BITCH without she SNAP back at you? *i got few tips* Try this! Let me know if it works.
*assume that bitch name is Apple
1) You call that bitch and say something like this, " You know Apple, got someone inside my office always borrow pen from me but never return back!seriously i feel so depress and stress coz i keep on buying new pens and she keep on borrow pen from me whenever i buy new pen. Now i feel like i miss you so much and luckily YOU NEVER BORROW THING FROM ME AND IF YOU BORROW CONFIRM RETURN BACK WITH ME, Oh how i wish you work with me *add with your fake tears voice* "
Facts : This is what i call, THE REVISED PSYCHO GAME! I created this game! it works for me, you can try! But you have to be very clever to pull this game.
2)You can call that bitch and bring her out for dinner and start your conversation like this, "Apple,actually tonight i feel like so not CONFIDENT without my 5 inch YELLOW high heels, i dont know where i put it!I missed place i guess!I just love that heel so much, my dad bought that heel for my auntie before she passed away and my auntie gave it to me for me to take care of it. That heel got sentimental value!!"
Facts : Play the GUILTY GAME! i created this game too! PUT AS MUCH FAKE/TRAGIC/SAD STORIES INSIDE YOUR CONVERSATION SO THAT SHE FEEL GUILTY.
Well,Bitches are negative species that make you feel unhappy, unhealthy and unequal.Bitches will stress you out, use you and wear you down physically and mentally. Many of us keep bitches in our lives for whatever reasons. We both like and dislike our bitches friends. Well still we need those bitches inside our life because we need to talk trash thing about her whenever we hangout with our another friends. That is how the bitch thing works. The bitch will tell another bitch stories. Well said.
Inside my mind,
Apple Nicol Luna
who??? what wrong with u dear?
ReplyDeletei think u need vacation now.
its an article dear, :)
ReplyDelete